A pocket forecast for husbands
She just snapped at you over nothing.
You have thirty seconds before you say the wrong thing. This tells you what to do instead. Five taps in the morning. One tap when it is happening. Word for word scripts for the conversations that matter.
You can't control the weather. You can learn to read it.
Not a bad husband. An uninformed one.
You haven't lost her. She is in weather you can't see.
I'm The Perimenopause Husband. Married 26 years, four kids, on the tools. For a long time I read every hard day in my house as something I'd done, or something she'd get over. I was wrong on both counts. She didn't change. Life did.
What fixed it was not a speech. It was learning to read the room before I opened my mouth. The Perimenopauseologist is that skill, on your phone. It reads the weather with you and hands you one thing to do. Nothing clever. Just the next thirty seconds, done right.
The five kinds of weather
Watch the sky change as you scroll.
Every hard day in your house is one of five. Learn the five and you stop guessing. Each one has its own don'ts, its own moves, and its own words. Here is the first line of each. The rest is in the app.
She is irritable, overwhelmed, snapping at things that never used to set her off. It is loud, or it is a door. Either way it is close.
Don't
- Problem-solve
Do
- Stay calm and give her room
Flat, tired, going through the motions. She is doing everything and none of it is reaching her. Tears with nothing attached live here.
Don't
- Push for connection
Do
- Make the tea
She is there, but conversations don't land. She walks into a room and forgets why. "I just can't think today" is as close as she can get to explaining it.
Don't
- Quiz her
Do
- Quietly do the things she'd normally do
The pressure has lifted a little. Lighter, more here, but tender. It would not take much to tip it back.
Don't
- Start the big talk
Do
- Keep it low pressure and warm
Present, warm and open. The weather is genuinely good. This is the woman you married, and she never left.
Don't
- Reference the storms
Do
- Enjoy it without commentary
Try the morning read
Three taps. See how the app reads your day.
The real thing asks five. Movement, eye contact, how the small questions land, how she is with the people around her, how she slept. The same tells the book teaches. No typing, no right answer. Just what you see.
You get the read here. The words and the moves for it are in the app. Nothing you tap goes anywhere.
What's inside
Five tabs. One job each.
Everything The Perimenopause Husband has made, filed by the weather it belongs to. Real situations from one house, several ways through each, and word for word scripts for the conversations that change things. It feeds off everything we make, so it keeps growing.
What is happening?
Find your kitchen in here
The honest conversation
Storms follow bad sleep
Who it's for
Built for him. Built for her to hand him.
If you're the bloke
- You don't need the words. You need the picture. Every situation in here is a moment, not a term.
- You don't need a plan. You need the next thirty seconds. That is all any screen gives you.
- You are not being punished. You are being trusted. This shows you what to do with that.
- Nobody sees it. No account. No email inside. Your reads stay on your phone.
If you're her
- You should not have to explain it. Not at 6am, not in the middle of it. This explains it for you, in a bloke's words, from a bloke who got it wrong first.
- Put it on his phone. When it opens it takes two minutes to install. Give him the year and it is his from the first morning.
- Read it yourself. Plenty of wives read the cards and say "that one, today." That is the whole conversation, and it is enough.
- He is not a bad husband. He is uninformed. That changes now.
It keeps growing
It feeds off everything we make. Updates cost you nothing.
Every week something new gets written, recorded or learned the hard way. The useful part of it goes into the app. New situations. New ways through the old ones. New words for the conversations. You open it and it is there.
It sounds like a lot. It is two minutes at each end of the day. After a few weeks you stop needing to be asked. You read the weather first. Then you speak.
The Perimenopauseologist
A year of forecasts
- The morning read, the Right Now screen, tonight's check-in
- Every situation, with every way through it we know
- Word for word scripts for the honest conversation and the small ones after it
- Free updates, fed from everything we make
- Patterns, kept on your phone only
- Installs on iPhone and Android. No app store, no account
For her to give
Give him the year
- Everything in the year, on his phone
- The founding price, $67, locked in for him
- Renews only if he chooses to
- A copy of the cards for you, if you want them
The founding list
Get in at $67, locked.
No card today. Leave your email and we tell you the day it opens. Founding members keep $67 a year for as long as they stay. The list closes 30 November.
What it never does
Same rules as the book.
- It never diagnoses. Not every storm is perimenopause. If it needs one, see a doctor or a specialist in this field.
- It never promises to fix your marriage. The promise is showing up better. Respecting each other through perimenopause is where that starts.
- It never sends her data anywhere. Nothing about her leaves your phone.
- It never lectures. One bloke talking to another, across a kitchen table.
Straight questions
Before you tap.
Is it on the App Store?
No, and you don't need it to be. Open the link on your phone, tap Add to Home Screen, and it sits with your other apps with its own icon. It opens full screen and works with no signal. The store version can come later. The founding list gets it first.
Does she know I've got it?
Only if you tell her. Most blokes do, eventually, because she notices the change before she notices the app. There is no account, no email inside it, and nothing about her goes anywhere. Your reads live on your phone.
Do I have to answer questions every day?
No. Five taps in the morning if you want the forecast. One tap at night if you want the patterns. Or skip all of it and just hit Right Now when you need it. It is a tool, not homework.
Is this medical?
No. It is one husband's experience, sorted so you can find yours in it. Nothing in it replaces a doctor. If something in your house scares you, see a doctor or a specialist in this field.
What if I change phones?
Your access comes with you. Your patterns don't, because they were never stored anywhere but the phone. The app tells you this plainly before you start.
What if none of the five fit today?
Then the app asks two more questions instead of making you guess. If it is still mixed, it says so, gives you the moves that are safe in any weather, and hands you the one question to ask her. "Am I reading that right?"
Do I get the same answer every time?
You get the best first move for today, and a button for every other way through. Save the ones that work in your house and they stay on your phone. Same weather next week, your saved ones come up first.
Is the free podcast in here?
No. The free weekly podcast stays free where it is. The app is the tools, the words and the daily read.